I tend to be one of those people who get really motivated to start going to the gym, get a membership, new workout attire, start going three times a week … then two times a week … then one … then pay monthly to think about going.
I have always had a hard time putting on weight. I know some of you are thinking: ‘Oh, poor baby. You can’t put on weight. How awful. I’d love to be in your shoes. At least you don’t have to lose weight.’ Trust me I’ve heard it all. But, this is my personal struggle and should not be compared to anyone else’s struggle. As far as I am concerned, it is as difficult for me to put on weight as it is for some to lose weight. And it shaped my self esteem and body image issues the same as anyone else struggling with weight issues. (And yes, I too was called names because of my weight.) So, back to the gym issue.

To start with I am uncomfortable even setting foot in a gym. I feel like people stare wondering what illness I have that made me so thin and wiry. Doing cardio presents two simultaneous issues:
1. I want to increase my cardiovascular health – but I don’t want to burn calories and lose any weight.
2. People must be staring at me thinking, “Slow down on the cardio, stick boy”.
Then weight training brings up even another level of poor self talk about what the muscle guys must be thinking about me invading their territory.

At this point some of you are thinking, “Who cares what others think, this is about you being healthy. Just go in there, do what you need to do and leave.” Well, I tell myself the same thing, but easier said than done, right?

The point of all this is that I haven’t seen the inside of the gym since this past May or June even though every month I continue to support them financially.

Last September a new group formed in Northampton, The Northampton Area Young Professionals (The NAYP), and I decided to join. (More about that in posts to come.) Each meeting they raffle off prizes donated by members. Well, as luck would have it, I win the gift certificate for a physical assessment at a local fitness facility. Oh, joy! Well, after putting it off and making excuses why I couldn’t go, I finally decided that I needed to go and that this year I would focus more on my physical health. Which brings me to yesterday.

Now, keep in mind I haven’t been in a gym for almost eight months and even when I did go, probably didn’t have the best routines for my body. So, yesterday ….

I started by filling out forms and chatting a bit with my trainer about what I do for work, past health experiences, thoughts on exercise, etc, etc. Then I got changed into my workout attire and met him back in the office for weigh-in, and measurements. My body composition (% of body fat) was so low that it wasn’t even listed on the chart. This was certainly a fun activity for my day off, and I couldn’t wait to get going with the physical assessment.

We moved to one of the training rooms. My first task was to do 72 step-ups in 3 minutes. ‘That’s not too bad’ you think. However, my step was onto a weight bench. My guess is that it is about 12″-16″ off the ground. Not your normal step. Both feet up onto the bench and then both feet back onto the floor was one step-up. Again, I needed to complete 72 in 3 minutes (or 24 per minute). The first 24 were actually not that bad and I thought, “Wow maybe I’m in better shape than I thought.” Then about half way (around #36) my quads started to revolt and turn to gelatin. I am proud to say that I finished all 72 step-ups in just over 3 minutes. I rested for a minute and then he took my pulse. 176 beats per minute. My heart was beating out of my chest. One of the higher rates he had ever seen. Gee, I am so proud.

Then it was on to squats. Fortunately with no weight. For this one I had to raise my arms above my head and perform a squat as if I was doing it with weights. This wasn’t too bad as he wanted me to do them slowly so he could watch my form and how my body moved through the squat. The only problem with this was that my quads were not speaking to me anymore because of what I had just put them through.

Next was one legged squats which actually turned out to be easier than I had expected, and my form was pretty good. However, my heart is still pounding, urging me to stop. So, onward I go …. To, of course, push-ups.

At this point I am having flashbacks of the torture we went through in high school gym class called ‘The Presidential Physical Fitness Test’. Fortunately, it was just me and the trainer and not a class full of teenagers ready to laugh at how poorly you scored. Even in my state of near collapse, I completed 17 push-ups in fairly decent form. I am pretty proud of that.

Plank pose was the next assessment. I needed to maintain plank pose for as long as possible. Well, a modified plank pose: Forearms on the floor and lifting myself up so I was supported by my forearms and toes. I don’t know how long exactly I did it, but it was under a minute. Not as easy as I had expected. Then let’s do another exercise …

This one was a bit odd to get into … and odd to explain. My position was similar to that of an inclined bench press, except there was no bench under me. I was ‘hanging’ at an incline from a bar and had to pull myself up to the bar and back down. Kind of like a pull up but I was on an angle. It was a very odd position to be in but I did my best. Now, I had to sit down.

My heart still pounding, my mouth getting dry, my lungs starting to hurt, and I was starting to feel nauseous … I was done! The trainer wisely decided to let me skip the last assessment. I was so thankful. I could barely stand my legs were shaking. I needed to get my stuff and get the heck out of there before I passed out of vomited. I wasn’t sure which would come first.

I went back to the bathroom where I had left my bag and had to sit down on a smartly placed bench while I fished out my keys. I thought to myself, “If I am going to throw up, I don’t want to do it here.” So I grabbed my stuff and flew off to my car. I left without putting on any extra layers of clothing so I stepped outside in a short sleeved shirt and nylon/polyester track pants. The cold hit me like a slap to the face and I was grateful. It felt divine.

I made it home and collapsed on the couch. My heart still pounding and my body still debating about vomiting. I thought I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. I knew I needed to get some nutrition in my body. Fortunately, we have bananas. I slowly ate a banana and sipped some Vitamin Water. The nausea began to subside. It took almost an hour after finishing my assessment for my heart and breathing to feel normal. I had made it through …

Today, I am surprised that my legs are not sore at all but my pecs and serratus anterior are incredibly sore. Other than that, I feel pretty good. My ego isn’t nearly as bruised as I had expected it would be post assessment. I am actually happy with myself that I finally went through with this. I know that my health is important. Especially my cardiovascular health. My family’s cardiovascular health history is not a pretty one. I need to break that cycle, and I know I can. But to do it, I need to get over some of my hang-ups about going to the gym.

I have another appointment with the trainer. He said next time would focus on core strength assessment. I am looking forward to that because as a massage therapist core strength is key to staying healthy and injury free, and is needed to give a great deep tissue massage.

So, what will become of these assessments and all this information we are gathering? The trainer says that what we will do is build a routine that is very specifically designed to give me workouts that I enjoy and that will meet all my needs. Routines that will build cardiovascular strength and lean muscle without using cardio machines and without becoming a body builder. And he will spend time showing me how to properly lift weights to prevent injury and target specific muscle groups accurately.

All in all, not a bad wake-up call to receive.